Mothers day was quite eventful this year. On the eve of mother’s day, I had checked myself into the ER with appendicitis. After dealing with two days of what I thought was gas pains, I finally decided to give in and seek medical attention. I’m certainly glad I did because my appendix was swollen and knotted up so severely, that prolonging the surgery would have put me in the ICU. I guess as a mother you learn to live with pain. Moms don’t get sick days, they deal with it. After all, it wasn’t like I haven’t dealt with cramps and gas pains before… I’m also a woman.
As I sat on the hospital bed awaiting my test results of my ultra sound I quickly thought about my family. How is Brad going to take the news, and who would watch Malia during this time. Should I call my mother or wait till after mother’s day? I was thankful that It was me sitting in the hospital bed rather than Malia.
After the doctors administered pain medication that next few hours became a blur. I remember being wheeled into my hospital room and suddenly morning had come peeking through my window. Suddenly, the anxiety set in, and my mind began to race with financial obligations, work status and the feeling of being so alone. It wasn’t like Brad or my family wouldn’t be there for me if I needed them. I didn’t want Malia to see her mommy like this. I didn’t want to traumatize our baby with memories of mommy in a hospital bed half alert and prodded with IV’s and monitors.
I sat shaking in by bed exhausted, and hallow as they pushed me into the hospital room. I laid there staring at the lights and cold concrete walls. I wished now more than ever that Brad and my mom were with me holding my hand telling me they would be right here when I wake up. The last though I recall was laying on the bed thinking “ What if I never fall asleep?” The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room to unfamiliar voices speaking to one another. They sounded almost like they were yelling to one another and suddenly, the pain set in. I tried to call to someone but my voice was weak. It felt as though my body had been weighed down and a heavy stone laid on my chest. I tried to call again, HELP… finally echoed and someone walked in to greet me. “ Help me, I’m in pain’ I replied. My body had been sliced open and the pain was present.
They began to wheel me back into my room and in the distance I heard a voice say “Hi honey’ followed by “momma”. I forced opened my eyes for a few seconds to see my world before me. Later that night Brad returned without Malia. He was there by my side every single day and night. Brad was there when I needed him most. He gave me strength both emotionally and spiritually. He took care of me both awake and while I slept. The wise will say “Find a love that has the capacity to grow.” Every day I fall in love with Brad. Our love is always evolving into a deeper kind of love. It has become a love of trust, commitment, admiration and tenderness.
After the second day in the hospital, I called upon my grandpa to give our family a blessing. His words bring strength and wisdom. They give comfort and spiritual enlightenment. He has such strong faith that you can feel it by just being around him. As my grandfather spoke over the phone blessing me and my family during this time Brad and I felt the spirit so strong we wept with comfort and understanding. In the days following my surgery, we began our spiritual journey together.My grandfather mentioned in his blessing and since then, the thought has resonated with me. He said "sometimes things happen for our punishment". What did I do to deserve this I thought? But then it hit me.... God has a plan for all of us and he will do anything in his power to push us to where we need to be. Sometimes bads things happen in our life to help us get back on track, to teach us lessons and remind us about what is most important in this life. I think this experience has made me want the gospel in our home more than ever. That in times of trouble we will have a foundation to lean upon. That our love is also be one of spirituality and healing.
As For Me And My House We Will Serve the Lord
Joshua 24:15
